A Gift Guide for Weirdos

It’s yuletide, ducklings, and us Broads bet you have some weirdos to shop for. We’ve assembled some of the weirdest, wonderfulest, and Pacific NorthBEST items sure to make you a gifted giver this holiday season.

(In full disclosure, the Amazon links are affiliate links. That doesn’t cost you any more, but it gives us a little cash if you buy anything.) 

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For Literature Lovers
There are so many books that the Broads recommend that we could do a whole list on just what we think you should read. But here are a few you might consider:

Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife (by Mary Roach) is a science-based hilarious, sometimes queasy look at what humans think about the afterlife, ghosts, seances, and more. It’s cheap on Amazon, but why not visit your local book seller and shop small!? ($10)

American Monsters: A History of Monster Lore, Legends, and Sightings in America (by Linda Godfrey) is Godfrey’s collection and research into the myriad cryptids supposedly roaming our fair country. Tackled by animal type, this book touches on the PNW’s batsquatch, sasquatch, thunderbirds, pterodactyls, tree-climbing octopuses, and more. ($15)

The Sasquatch Hunter’s Almanac: A Novel (by Spokane’s own Sharma Shields) by Sharma Shields is a novel about family, romance, communication, and yes, Bigfoot. ($10)

If monsters and ghosts aren’t their game, then why are you friends with them? Okay, we’re mostly kidding about that, but if you aren’t sure what they want to read, then you cannot go wrong with an Auntie’s Bookstore gift card. They have a fabulous PNW section, full of books by local authors and about local things, plus they have ghost stories, creature stories, true crime stories, all the stories we care about. ($5-$infinity) If they’re into old books, rare books, books who climb on rocks, then make sure you get them a gift card to Giant Nerd Books, too. Nate rhymes with ‘great’ for a reason, people.  ($5-$infinity) And of course, there’s always the crown jewel of Weird Portland, Powell’s City of Books

Stuff their stocking and help them keep their place with a Stay Weird bookmark that’s out of this world. ($8)

Maybe they’re one of those techy folks who get their books on an e-reader? Well then, they’ll need a Pacific Northwonderful grey-wolf-and-forest iPad skin to keep that e-reader in mint condition.

Make sure everyone knows they love to read as much as they love to cuss with a fucking appropriate necklace from our buddy Cindy of F Yeah Jewelry. Cindy’s as rad as they effing come. ($26)

And they need something tote-ally awesome to carry all their books in: a magical protection tote bag by Cat Coven. ($22)

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For the Spokanite
Well, first of all, people from Spokane always need to know what day it is. They are very cool people with lots and lots of engagements, so they need to know what day it is so they never miss a coffee-date at Atticus, a hair appointment at The House of Pop, or drinks and shuffleboard at The Viking. Make sure they keep track of their awesome lives with a gorgeous Spokane-themed calendar from Boo Radley’s, Spokane’s raddest store. If they need a second calendar, then get them one that benefits The Friends Of Manito, who are responsible for the garden, not the hell-trolley.

Influential Women of Spokane: Building a Fair City (American Heritage) (by Nancy Engle) is a good one for your feminist history-buff friend who also likes Spokane. That should be everyone, TBH. ($15)

Gift your friend a ‘kan-do attitude, with a cheerful, vintage-style city poster by Ian Kelley, local artist and PNW lifer. Plus, he’s Devon’s brother, and if you love Devon, you’ll LOVE Ian. ($ price varies based on size, that’s what she said)

Anyone who loves Spokane definitely needs a t-shirt from The Great PNW, a company that loves this place as much as we do. ($28)

Weird can also mean unique, and if you want beautifully unique in Spokane then you visit that glamazon Summer at Veda Lux Boutique. She’ll outfit you with the weirdest, wonderfullest, sparkliest jewels, vintage clothes, and accessories. Her shop overflows with her handmade adornments, but she still finds places to pack in work by other Spokane artisans, so you can shop local in a big way. ($5-$infinity)

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For Nature Lovers

Nature lovers love animals, too, even the ones that haven’t been “proven” to be “true” by “science”. So, of course you want the animal lovers in your life to know about those poor, benighted maybe-babies. Do it with this great overview of cryptids worldwide, Cryptozoology A To Z: The Encyclopedia of Loch Monsters, Sasquatch, Chupacabras, and Other Authentic Mysteries of Nature

The Wild Unknown tarot deck is super Instagram-worthy, and also features be-you-tiful natural drawings. Plus, they have a companion deck of animal spirit guides. But for real, if you pull a card from this deck, you’ll get insight AND compliments ($40)

Seattle-artist and on Devon’s “Top Ten Best People List” Maggie Rutherford makes the most enchanting greeting cards inspired by her Seattle garden. C H A R M I N G beyond belief, they’re a little secret garden for you and anyone lucky enough to be your penpal. ($5)

Your tree-hugging friend also loves pins. Because, duh, we all do. There are tons of great options, and we super-love:
1. An octopus that will climb right out of its tree and into your heart, made by our lovely lady friend, Serena!. Her business, Oh Plesiosaur, is LGBT+ and woman-owned, so she covers like all of the bases we care about. ($13)
2. Cryptid Club pins in three styles for your favorite monster. ($10 each)
3. The cutest yeti. ($10)
4. A covered wagon pin, inspired by your favorite computer game, The Oregon Trail. ($12)

The mountains are calling, and you must go buy your nature-loving friend this adorable Mount Rainier embroidery by super babes, Sarah and Jimi, owners of The Dear Fox. Incidentally, they helped Devon survive grad school and her first big girl job. ($25)

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For the Witch
There’s a little witch in all of us, turtle doves, but some of us want the world to know it. And hey, don’t let anyone tell you you’re practicing your craft wrong – harm none but take no shit, babes.

It’s a proven fact that witches love candles, and so your witch friend probably needs a Ouija Board-inspired candle by the sorceresses at Witch City Wicks. ($18) (Liz note – Devon gave me this and I use it to make my office smell beautiful, don’t tell campus security.)

It’s also fact that they’ll like, like, anything by Camile Chew, but her postcard/mini print series of magickal babes are perfect for your modern witch friend. Her themes are dark, her colors are bright, and your aura is GOLDEN, baby. ($5)

Sometimes your cauldron overfloweth, and for times like these you need a hand-dyed towel by plant witch, major babe, and Devon’s girl-crush Kate of Deep Sky Design. She uses all natural dyes, and you guys, she sometimes dyes from plants she grew or harvested herself. PLANT. WITCH. ($16)

Witch babes accessorize with the best of them, so make sure their pin game is on point with an OMG CAN U NOT planchette pin for the dude who’s over it ($10), and a ghost friends planchette pin for your friendly conjurer ($14).

A beautifully engraved planchette so they can divine their future, their way. ($20)

For the water witch, help her call the powers of the Pacific Ocean with a scent fit for a sea goddess, by our friends at Elden Fragrances. ($9 and up)

Speaking of anointing, your witchy-woo needs natural essences by Grace of Flowers & Stars, and you can support the amazing ladies of HausWitch at the same time by purchasing through them! ($20)

And if you’re a Ouija Broads patron, you know how much we raved about our readings by Stephanie at Petal & Moss– the gift of enlightenment is yours to give, babe. ($ varies)

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For the Frenemy
Buy them a Ouija Board. It’s the gift you give when you pretend you care, but secretly don’t mind if they get haunted by a demon. ($22)

For the Broads
Subscribe to our Patreon! Or pick up one of our maps of Lost Treasures of Washington State. We’ll take anything on this list though, of course.

Except for the Ouija Board.

Seriously, we don’t want to get possessed.

xo & stay weird

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